REV1000

Hello lovely readers,

I have a treat for you – the wonderful SexToys.co.uk have sent me a product to test and I think you'll be a little excited. It launched yesterday and it's called the REV1000.

It's a male product and let's get the nitty gritty out of the way – it'll set you back £120. Quite pricey for a sex toy, yes, but it's rechargeable which will save a small fortune in batteries and it comes with two different inserts (the mechanism for which I'll describe later).

What's different about this male toy when compared to other male products is it revolves. Most of the successful male toys such as the Tenga Fliphole and the Fleshlights are simply contoured sleeves in a sturdy case that you use for masturbation and then there’s the Cobra Libre which is a male vibrator. These are, so I'm told, pretty darn good (and I get a lot of pleasure from fondling the Tenga). But there's very little variety and they require quite a bit of work.

The REV1000 is motorised and this means you've got a whole host of settings to play with.

So let me describe the whole experience.

It all begins at www.sextoys.co.uk when you make you order (with free delivery). It should arrive a couple of days later, discreetly packaged and delivered safely. You'll open the box and be greeted to the lovely packaging you can see in this image:

As you can see, it's not quite at the same level of some of the packaging for luxury brands such as Lelo (link to packaging) – but it's pretty nice and certainly not as tacky as many male product packages and that's good enough for me.

You'll open your new plaything and find these things included: a charger, instruction manual, 2 sleeves and 4 different charger adapters and a little sample of lubricant.

Then we come to the product itself:

A sleek, black casing protecting the rotating mechanism inside. It's certainly not tacky and wouldn't look out of place in a sleek, modern kitchen! It's a gadget, and that's what we want from a male product.

It looks great, but unfortunately the build quality/design isn't quite perfect as I'll describe. The whole thing comes apart and can be twisted and screwed in a variety of ways, firstly you unscrew the cap which protects the opening, you can then unscrew and remove the cap which has a silicone opening in it leaving it open to just the silicone sleeve inside. You can then unscrew and remove the whole of the shaft which protects the mechanism and the mechanism inside has another screw cap that you need to remove if you want to take out the silicone sleeve...sound complicated? It really isn't – the benefit is you can clean and dry all the individual bits separately which is handy. Now all this is fine (some of the screw fastenings are not as smooth as I'd like but that's a minor niggle) but the issue is with that last screw cap. When you insert a silicone sleeve into the mechanism the sleeve has a lip that over hangs the edge of the mechanism – the cap then slides on top of the lip and it's a very snug fit because it needs to hold the silicone sleeve in place. The issue with this is that it's very, very easy to damage the delicate silicone sleeve on the cap and in fact I did just that the second time I changed the sleeve. A bit of a design flaw in my eyes. So if you get it, change the sleeves with a lot of care!

Ok, so I've told you how it looks and how it fastens together – now for the mechanism...this sits in the heart of the device and is attached with a magnet to the handle portion. It seems sturdy and secure enough and I don't think it'll be easy to break.

Right so you've opened your toy, you've seen how it works and you've charged it for the obligatory 8 hour full charge before first use. And you're ready to play.

You first need to remove the outer cap and lube up the silicone insert, the silicone opening and yourself. You'll find that the little sachet of lube provided isn't enough so make sure you've got a good quality, water based lube available. You should avoid silicone lubricants with silicone toys as this can make the material melt. Although I am told some of the really high quality silicone lubes are ok, I wouldn't risk it.

Then you need to insert yourself which is easier done if you're already erect – Sextoys.co.uk say that the REV1000 is perfect because it can be used alone, and it can, and that's great, but if you have an extra pair of hands to do the “hardening” step it can only be a good thing ;).

Once you've inserted you need to switch the toy on. There's a power button in the centre and then you use the up and down buttons to increase the speed/power and the left to right buttons to change the setting. Sextoys.co.uk say there are 7 speeds and 7 functions giving you 49 different combinations. There's a continual spin function and then variations of half turns, quarter turns and turns in different directions. There's certainly a lot to play with.

The only problem with all these settings is just how strong and loud they are (when my other half joked that one of the settings sounded like a laser printer, we both fell into fits of giggles). Immediately me and my partner noticed the noise and he found that with more than half of the settings they were so strong and fast that they made him go numb, not to mention the fact that he couldn't ignore the noise and it got a little distracting. If you like a more delicate sensation on your penis then it's maybe not the toy for you. That said, if you like a nice powerful stimulation and don't mind the noise, it does have a lot of settings to play with, is really easy to use and rechargeable. The fella especially liked it when he was already very aroused and we'd had a long teasing session because he then felt less desensitised by the power.

The 2 silicone sleeves provided were very similar to one another which was a bit of a shame – they both had lots of silicone nodules down every side (one had a smooth nodule and the other a nodule with a bulge in it) and a bunch of smaller nodules right at the end, they're very soft silicone and not too structured which does mean on the faster settings you can't feel the “detail” as much but the softness has its benefits too.

The device is so simple to use, is fairly lightweight for the size of it, has a good sized handle making it easy to hold and the buttons are fairly easy to operate in use. The buttons are also well defined meaning you can use it with your eyes closed!

Cleaning was a doddle – take all the pieces apart, keep the device itself and the mechanism separate and bung all the other parts in some warm soapy water, rinse well and dry, leaving the parts all separated until fully dry before putting it back together. Then you can bang it back in its lovely box ready for its next outing.

Overall, it is a decent male toy and it works really well, it's a little pricey but it is rechargeable and it does work as a solo toy or to use together with a partner. It definitely does have its niggles – the noise and strength are a little over powering but that may suit some men perfectly.

Definitely a toy worth considering if you're looking for a treat for the man in your life this Christmas.

Kisses,

Alicia d'Amore <3

P.s. – this was a product I was asked to feature but I’ve (as always) tried to keep my review very honest which I hope comes across. With any feature products I’ll also add a note so you know that I’ve been asked to feature the product.

A short break ends and breast cancer awareness...

Ok, so I've been away for a while. Things have been very hectic the last few months but they're settling down again and I'm ready to start posting again.

It's also been mentioned to me that comments aren't working here - I've tried to fix this so please try commenting.

To dip my toe back in the water - a photo:

Since it's breast cancer awareness month - I'll show you my boobs, if you check yours...you too fellas!

And if you don't know how then here's a handy guide: http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/1740.aspx?CategoryID=60&SubCategoryID=182

Happy feeling,

Alicia <3

Pleasure and Pain

I am submissive. I also have nerve problems meaning I recognise pain and pressure in different ways to "normal" - which makes for interesting sub play to say the least...

I love to be submissive because I love reliquishing my control to the man I trust and love completely. I love the strength and power he has over me, I love how caring he is when he controls me, the love in his eyes, the fact that I know that everytime he flogs or spanks me he is doing it for my pleasure. It's such an intimate thing to share.

I also love the physical feelings too - the tease and stroke of a suede flogger, the tingle of a pinwheel, the stroke of his fingers just before the hot slap of his hand on my skin, the dull thwack of a flogger, the thud of a paddle, the pull on my hair as he wraps his fingers close to my head, his nails and teeth digging into my skin.

So here's a round up of my favourite toys for a sub session:

1) My beautiful, sleek, classy, collar. It's suede on the outside, soft leather on the inside, it fastens securely and looks beautiful against the pale, creamy skin of my neck. It makes me feel owned by my Master and it can be looped with a chain lead to give him even more control.

2) Floggers are simply wonderful spanking implements - they can be quite a gentle introduction to spanking, especially suede ones which have a dull and controllable thwack (though you do have to be aware of the flick of a long frond somewhere unexpected), the sensation can be intensified with a firmer hand and the soothing stroke of suede can be a beautiful sensation after a painful session. I think this is my favourite because it's portable and can be taken anywhere - it was also a gift from a very lovely friend.

3) My pinwheel is just a delicious sensation. They're designed to test nerve function and give a delectable, sensual, shivery sensation. Simply divine. They can be used, with care, on the labia, inner arms, the neck and thighs for the most sensitive response. I got mine on Ebay but plenty of sex toy retailers have started selling them now.

4) My suede/leather paddle - a dull thud on one side and a sharper thwack on the other the cooling leather of this paddle feels wonderful on spanked red cheeks whilst the suede side is great for beginners. This paddle was our first step into submission and spanking.

5) My penis gag - because I am my Master's cock sucker and sometimes I need an oral distraction whilst he plays with me! I have to be in the right mood to use this, but it's excellent for an orally fixated sub and something to bite down on when being pleasured or punished.  Plus it's glittery!

 (A dreadful image - when I can, I'll take a photo of mine to replace it, mine has a much shorter penis too)

You'll notice many of my favourite products are from Bondage Boutique over at Lovehoney - I'm not usually brand loyal, but their range of bondage toys are simply wonderful. Well made and reasonably priced they also have a loyalty scheme where you can collect stickers to gain a paddle from the range. They have an extensive range of toys for the beginner and the more experienced. It's not like me to love a brand as much as I love this one and I really recommend at least taking a look at the reviews and products.

Happy spanking,

Alicia <3

Planned Sex

Planned sex is something for a long time that people didn't talk about. Much sex advice was based on maintaining fun and spontaneity in the sex life!

But planned sex can be just as fun and is certainly a good thing to practise in maintaining a happy sex life.

So here's my take on planned sex...

Firstly I think spontaneous sex is great but in today's world where we all work so hard in our jobs, have committments, children, social lives and many, many other aspects of day to day life to spend our energy on it's so easy for sex to take a back seat.

Picture it - you get up at 7am, make coffee, get a shower, get ready for work, get the kids up, ready and out of the house, and rush your breakfast as you leave the house. You drive an hour to work (or spend an hour travelling by bus or bicycle) and then think constantly about your job until lunchtime. Lunch is consumed at the desk, you leave at 5.30pm and get home at half 6. The kids need to eat, play, bath and be read to before you can even think about having some time to yourself so at 9pm when you finally get chance to sit and relax with a glass of wine, you're shattered and the last thing on your mind is sex - you want to watch tele then go to bed early so you can start it all again tomorrow. 

But sex is crucial to a happy and healthy relationship and a happy and healthy you! With the above scenario the only time you spend with your partner is sat on the sofa watching television or sleeping side by side. Weekends are all about catching up on chores and keeping the kids entertained and you're not getting the chance to catch up on sleep! You're moving further and further away from your partner and sex is sitting firmly on the back burner. Intimacy has gone and you don't want to initiate sex in case your partner is tired or worse he/she wants a super long session that you don't have the energy for!

So that's the problem - a typical one I'm sure you'll agree and my suggestion is that planned sex can be the solution.

Planning to have sex on a set day, at a set time each week - planning what sort of session you'd like, which toys (if any) you'd like to bring in to the session and which activities you're in the mood for (sticking to just oral or adding in penetration too?). It's a great way to:

1) Get that intimate connection back with your partner

2) Encourage yourself to get back into and enjoy sex again (it's so easy to get in a rut of not having it or wanting it, sometimes you need to break the cycle!)

3) Experiment with different things you love

A great website for making planned sex interesting is Playful Ideas a website that randomly generates a suggestion for you and your partner to try during sex. It gives a suggestion of when the sex should take place, who should arrange it and what it should involve so you can use your creativity but still get some ideas on what to plan!

Make sex fun again, by planning it - I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised...

Alicia <3

Vestibulodynia

In 2007 I was diagnosed with vestibulodynia. I had had pain during penetration since I first started having sex at the age of 16 and a year later even inserting and removing tampons was painful and sex had become temporarily impossible so I saw a gynaecologist who, after ruling out thrush and sexually transmitted infections and had biopsied the skin to check for another suspected condition, diagnosed me with vestibulodynia.

Vestibulodynia is a condition causing pain during the touching and pressure of skin where the vulva (the external part of the female genitalia) meets the vagina (the internal cavity). It's an area of high sensitivity anyway, so the increased sensitivity of vestibulodynia can cause a lot of pain. Sufferers can have pain just from light touch of the area and walking and sitting can become uncomfortable. 

The condition is usually caused by a nerve problem - nerves may be overly sensitive or register pressure as pain by mistake. For myself, vestibulodynia is likely caused by the chronic joint pain condition I suffer as a result of faulty connective tissue which makes the skin sensitive as well as damaging the nerves.

Treatment for vestibulodynia varies from patient to patient and from doctor to doctor so I thought I'd summarise what works for me both physically and mentally - because losing the ability to have sex can be quite traumatic!

• Pelvic floor muscle or kegal muscle exercises - if the pain is persistant these exercises goes some way to preventing the natural response of the muscles to the pain - tensing. This tensing increases the pain experienced during penetration and can be avoided using a simple routine of exercising the muscles twice daily.These exercises teach the muscles how to relax again. To do this, clench your pelvic floor muscles (those you use to stop pee mid flow) really tightly and hold for ten seconds, then release and relax for ten seconds. Repeat this ten times twice a day preferably in a calm and relaxed situation and laying down. 

• Vaginal dilators - these can be used to get the vaginal entrance used to being stretched and touched. In England you can get dilators given to you by your gynaecologist. These are a set of three or four hard plastic tubes in varying sizes from teeny to quite large. These should be used daily with a little lubricant (such as this slick and good value lube from Durex which you can get in many shops that sell condoms etc. or online).

• Soap - skin sensitivity can only exacerbate the problems caused by vestibulodynia so using only warm water to clean your bits is advisable however if you really must use soap - go for the Simple brand which you can get almost anywhere (I recommend Home Bargains for cheapness!) and is very gentle on the skin. If you bathe rather than showering avoid using detergents on your bath (or rinse really, really well) and avoid bubble bath. Using Simple baby wipes to freshen up rather than washing excessively is a good idea as excessive washing can be very drying.

• Long foreplay and regular "stretching" using small toys and fingers before sex - this one's pretty self explanatory. Take your time. Build up to the "main event" slowly and increase your tolerance. Testing the water with a small sex toy can give the added benefit of seeing how the pain is on that particular occasion rather than only discovering it's a "bad day" half way through him entering you.

• Condoms - if your partner is on the large size and you're using another form of contraception, using a condom that's slightly too small can make him more streamlined - but you must only do this if you're using another form of contraception and are safe from STIs as the risk of the condom breaking is increased if the size is wrong.

• Foreplay as the main event - whilst we're talking main events, penetrative sex isn't the be all and end all! You will do yourself a huge favour if you get your head round the idea that sex isn't just about penetration - it's also about oral and intimacy, touching and enjoying each others body's! If you can't get his penis inside your vagina it's not the end of the world as long as you're both having a bloody good time! Just enjoy yourself and don't stress yourself with unnecessary pressure. And talk to your partner - chances are your partner is more than happy with a good oral session!

• Relax, relax, relax - easier said than done, but absolutely crucial to a happy sex life.

•  Don't always orgasm - take the pressure off! You don't have to orgasm if you don't want to. If it's painful it'll be the last thing on your mind so focus on getting some enjoyment from every session and the orgasm being a bonus!

• Slow sex - it's so important to take your time during the initial penetration, ease the penis inside slowly and pause anytime you need to. Once he's inside, make him stay still and do a few kegal exercises around him to remind your muscles to relax then proceed slowly - chances are, if you get this right, the pain will improve and you can speed up again soon after.

Other treatments available include local anaesthetic creams to be applied prior to sex and the referral to a sexual therapists in cases where the condition persists for a long time and is impacting on the sexual relationship. Tricyclic antidepressants can also be prescribed which work as pain modifiers in low doses.

It is important that if you are in a relationship or having sex during a period of vestibulogynia that your sexual partner is aware and understanding of the condition and that you work together to take sex at the right pace for you to allow enjoyment. Whilst it may be tempting to stop sex all together, whilst penetration is possible with modifications it is sensible to try and continue and try not to feel to scared (which can make the problems worse) however it is also important to recognise when a sex break is required and take good care of your sexual health by listening to your body.

For many sufferers of this painful condition, the symptoms improve with time and normal sex can resume but some patients suffer for a long time and must work with their partner and doctor to find a regime that suits them best making sex possible and enjoyable again.

 

If you think you may have vestibulodynia, see your doctor about a referral to a gynaecologist! Having seen countless gynaecologists over the past few years I can assure you it's rarely as bad as you think it will be, they've seen it all before and know how to keep you calm. There are many causes of pain during sex and many are very treatable. The cause needs to be identified to rule out risky STIs or other nasties which can cause major complications if left unchecked so get to your GP with any pain during sex!

Happy sexing!

Alicia <3

P.s. I've written this with a heterosexual relationship in mind but all the rules apply to other relationships too (well gay male relationships won't have vestibulodynia problems ;) but you know what I mean). Just substitute penis for dildo or strap-on and you're away.

P.p.s I'm seeing a gynaecologist soon to work out why my pain has increased lately (possibly medication relation) so if I have anymore tips from the appointment I will update this post!

Review: Zini Deux

The ever fabulous LoveHoney sent W and I a Zini Deux to test out and I must say, with a design so delicious the Zini Deux won the Red Dot Design award, I kind of expected the Deux to be all form and no function. Especially at £139.99 on LoveHoney.

 Boy did I have it wrong!

The Zini Deux comes packaged absolutely stunningly. It has an inky blue outer sleeve with little coffee bean Deux motif on each side and glowy white writing surrounding a black and shimmery white card box held together with a magnet. When you open it, the only tiny amount of plastic is a cover for the Deux so you can see it sitting there all prettily - everything else is encased in thick black card and slotted into the outer box perfectly.

The Zini Deux comes with a little silky and very discreet carry bag, which is pretty well made - something that can often be a let down in luxury toys! It also comes with an instruction booklet and a 1 year warranty, a charger and when you buy with LoveHoney they chuck in a free UK adapter!

 Once you get your little bundle of joy, it needs charging until the light shows green before you can put it to good use and it doesn't work whilst charging but you can use this time to get to know your Zini! The instruction booklet is clear and concise with information on health and safety, storage and cleaning, using the settings and disposal (as if you'd ever want to get rid of it!) it also has a nice little section on "troubleshooting" which is a lovely touch!

The product itself is delicious, really well made, with beautiful curves and a soft, silky platinum silicone coating (don't use silicone lubes, just don't, ok?). The two sections sit beautifully together and are held in the coffee bean shape by magnets. When together you can see the gorgeous deep purple outer section and a little flash of the hot fushia inner section. It looks very pretty! Once you separate the two you can see all those gorgeous curves and imagine just how to use them!

The male part, it a deep curve designed perfectly to stimulate the balls whilst pointing the tip towards the shaft. It really is well designed. The motor sits in the apex of the curve making it very powerful and feel incredible. (The picture below shows the charging slot at the side - it's not there, it's actually at the back)

I do find with the female part of the Zini it's a slower and more "meandering" orgasm rather than the quick and direct orgasm some of my more powerful toys give but that's really not a problem, just something to be aware of!

Now on to the major flaw with the Zini...the 2 parts don't charge together. Zini don't even supply you with 2 chargers! Which is a massive oversight on a couples toy designed for use together! It would be simple enough to rectify - even just having a splitter on the charger or supplying two chargers would work and not be all that expensive. Such a let down on such a promising toy.

On the plus side they only take two hours charge for four hours use!

Overall - a beautiful toy, beautifully packaged perfect for slow and teasing couples play. A great introduction to toys for men and women and for once a really well executed male vibrator!

Alicia d'Amore <3

Love grows by giving

I adore oral sex. I especially adore giving oral sex...

The penis is a wonderful organ - with delicious variation across its length and width, an entire texture to discover. With veins, moles, papules, and lots of sensitive, smooth patches of skin to explore. It tastes delicious too - a musky, manly taste late in the day or a fresh and cool taste straight after showing, the squishy skin of the foreskin rolling across my tongue is a beautiful sensation and the skin is so soft and sensitive. I have become obsessed with probing and learning my partner's penis.

The love affair between my tongue and his penis began with a teenage blowjob in the cinema - our first time sharing this intimate activity and his goofy grin of pleasure will always stay with me. The following years have seen my fellatio skills improve dramatically and my enjoyment has increased accordingly.

I'd spent months building up to it, lying on his stomach gazing at this weird, veiny, hard thing, wondering if I'd ever have the guts to suck it, then gently kissing and stroking it learning how it felt and what made it feel good. Then, I decided I was ready to slide it in my mouth. After opening his jeans and playing with him for a while, I slid down on to the floor and slipped the head of his cock into my mouth...his expression was amazing, that goofy, ecstatic grin, blissfully happy as I got to grips with something so large in my tiny mouth. Using my tongue to explore I quickly got a grasp of how to pleasure.

I still love having his cock in my mouth, and can still elicit that goofy grin. I've learnt a lot since then too - I know what it likes, dislikes, how it's preferences vary depending on my partner's mood, how he expresses those preferences, how to adapt my technique to suit those preferences, how to alter the pressure in my mouth, how to use my tongue alone to make him orgasm, how to find his sensitive spots, which parts are too sensitive for direct pressure and which parts like it rough, how to work my tongue under his foreskin and bunch the foreskin up for greater stimulation, how to make him orgasm 6 times in a row without ejaculating, how to tease and tempt, how to use hot breath and no touch, how to make my mouth soft and squishy, or firm and tight, how to use my teeth in the correct way (by stimulating the shaft and balls and *never* the tip), the list goes on.

I find the more I do it, the more I love it...part of it must be about the intimacy, of him letting me put it in my mouth and me letting him come down my throat. I have complete power with his cock between my lips, I can cause such pleasure, frustration, even pain if I wanted to. Sure, he can grab my hair, force me to suck it deeper or harder, but I can make it all stop in the blink of an eye if I want to.

It's certainly one of my favoured sexual activities and my enthusiasm certainly encourages a delicious response from my partner, he loves to see the passion and enthusiasm in my eyes and my desire to explore and enjoy his penis not only makes him feel confident and attractive but loved and sensual too.

Alicia d'Amore <3

Welcome

Sex is something I value. It is something that I feel is vital to a happy life and a strong relationship. I have spent a long time practising it and now I want to write about it.

Here will be a collection of true tales, reviews, tips and experiences....

I hope you enjoy reading as much as I'm sure I'll enjoy writing.

Alicia d'Amore <3